I’m a member of a writing forum, and every month the bloggers can participate in a blog chain. This month’s chain is about second chances, which for many expats in China is quite appropriate.
Wanting a Second Chance
One of the big stereotypes of foreigners in China, especially oral English teachers is that we’re seeking a second chance at success after screwing up back home. This stereotype exists because for quite a few expats, its true.
Many middle age expats come to China to teach English because they lost their job, especially common in the last few years. A few of the more noticeable ones wrecked their lives back home due to drugs or alcohol and are hoping that by coming to a new country they can leave their demons behind them. For some younger people, they dropped out or flunked out of college and not wanting to start at the very bottom in the West came to China hoping to see the world and make something of themselves.
Others, likely the majority are simply unhappy with their current lives in the West. Maybe they suffered a divorce, they hate their job, they’re bored with their lives, or they simply want to be different. All of these people are seeking second chances at happiness and excitement.
Getting a Second Chance
The good thing about China is that for people who work at it, there are second chances. I’ve met teachers who came from the West after divorces and lost jobs, that have gone on to find love and decent if not great jobs here. They came with an open mind, and while most of them have had problems and annoyances from culture shock and rebuilding a life overseas, they’ve generally found if not happiness at least comfort.
For people who are willing to change themselves to fit their second chance, China is full of great opportunities. I mostly deal with English teachers, but a few expats I know have joined with Western companies either as managers and salesmen or contractors and built up their lives, after losing their jobs in the US due to the recession. They were making more money in the US, but they are working, they are well off by Chinese standards, and are rebuilding their savings.
Making the Same Mistakes
Unfortunately not everyone uses their second chance properly. People who destroyed their lives in the West due to alcohol will be found in the local bars, like the Blue Sky Sports Bar drinking away their paycheques. Others will find every reason they can to complain about Chinese culture, people and work, yet never leave. Some will try to have sex with as many young Chinese women as they can and then complain about not having a satisfying relationship.
One of the first English teachers I met, was a grossly fat old man from Australia. He had had a string of jobs and at least one ex-wife back home due to cheating, and I believe he came to China without a degree in anything. When he taught classes, he was constantly flirting with the college girls, ignoring ones who weren’t pretty and the boys. He asked one of our colleagues, how he could convince the students to have sex with him, and he was the dirtiest old man you’ve ever seen. He was let go at the end of his contract and he was honestly surprised why.
Unfortunately because of expats like this who are destroying their second chance and ruining the image of Westerners, I’ve been called by some Chinese people, White trash, a failure, and a letch.
Don’t Blow Your Second Chance
If you come to China looking for a second chance, or like me a first chance, don’t blow it. Come to China with an attitude and desire to change what you don’t like about yourself, and to explore new possibilities. If you’re just going to make the same choices and mistakes in China that you made back home, you might as well stay home.
I would highly recommend checking out the other blogs on this blog chain, as most of them are quite enjoyable. Please check them out if possible
Participants and posts:
Turndog-Millionaire – http://turndog-millionaire.com/ (link to this month’s post)
orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
magicmint – http://www.loneswing.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Tomspy77 – http://thomaswillamspychalski.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
LilGreenBookworm – http://themayhemofwritingsahm-style.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
LiterateParakeet – http://lesliesillusions.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
AFord – http://af12.webs.com/ (link to this month’s post)
writingismypassion – http://charityfaye.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
SuzanneSeese – http://www.viewofsue.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Bogna – http://bemaslanka.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
kiwiviktor81 – http://storygenerator.net/ (link to this month’s post)
randi.lee – http://emotionalnovel.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
areteus – http://lurkingmusings.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Domoviye – You are here
pyrosama – http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
julzperri – http://www.fishandfrivolity.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Nissie – http://www.paperheroes.net/ (link to this month’s post)
Cheers
Dan
Appreciate the well written post, informative and as interesting as well. Cheers to second chances and everyone who offers them, and to those who make the most of them.
Thanks for reading Alan. I’m glad you liked it.
Interesting read. Sadly, it’s a common mistake. People might even move to another state rather than leaving the country, but if they aren’t willing to change themselves there is no point.
Hi Charity, you’re right. I’ve seen people do it when they go off to university, change cities, change jobs, always wanting that second chance, but never learning from their mistakes.
Cheers
Dan
What a wonderful and insightful post! That is a shame that some Westerners go there and are less than professional, giving all Americans a really bad rap. I wish times weren’t so hard and your post makes me feel even more grateful that I’ve been able to keep my job thus far.
Thank you very much Diane.
Unfortunately it’s not just American’s who get the bad name, all White’s do, and the Chinese lose respect for the foreign teachers. With some of the ingrained distrust of foreigners that is fairly pervasive in the culture, when they see a few people acting like idiots too many Chinese people assume it’s the same for all foreigners. This is why I’ve been told by some of my employers that the students are expecting to have fun and that I shouldn’t fail any students.
If more oral English teachers and Westerners in general acted in an appropriate manner and demanded a proper amount of respect back, things would improve.
Ok, enough of me ranting.
Thanks for commenting.
Cheers
Dan
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My best friend went to China for an exchange program and wound up really liking her stay there. There’s a lot of good jobs available for someone who can teach English, and the living expenses are so cheap (I visited her there, our breakfasts were usually from food vendors along a nearby market that cost less than a dollar!)
I haven’t really heard much about the kind of teachers you’ve mentioned, but maybe it’s because she got a position where the admin really looks through your credentials and winnows out all the lecherous DOM cheaters.
There are a lot of jobs available for people who can speak English, which is part of the problem.
The better schools can sift fairly carefully for good teachers, which there are in large numbers. But the 2nd and 3rd tier schools, and the training centers don’t do this. They’ll hire anyone who is White and speaks English, it doesn’t matter how they teach, dress, act, or anything, so long as they can say “Hey look we have a Laowai (foreigner)” to draw in customers and students.
Question for you Secret, what exactly is a DOM cheater?
Thanks for reading.
Nice round up of life in the East
Plenty of places in thew world to go and find a second chance
Matt (Turndog Millionaire)
Thanks for the reply Turndog. You’re right about that. But people don’t realize they can find a second chance anywhere, even back home if they look hard enough.
Although I’ll admit heading overseas looking for a second chance is much more interesting than heading next door.
Cheers
Dan
Fascinating! I had no idea that expats in China were, even in part, looking for that kind of a do-over. It doesn’t surprise me that it might not be the best place to kick alcoholism, though, not with Tsingtsao Beer on tap, and they learned from the very masters of the brewer’s art, the Germans
Not all expats are, but at least a decent size minority are looking for a second chance.
I’m fortunate when it comes to alcohol that I really don’t like the taste of it. So while I’ll choke back a beer and enjoy a small cup of wine or a screwdriver, the thought of drinking more than a glassful makes me want to gag. Even Tsingtsao, and I’ve had to drink people under the table with that stuff.
But at least it’s better then American beer.
Cheers
Dan
I had no idea so many Westerners have traveled to China to live. Thanks for the education!
I’m not sure of the exact number, but a very quick check shows between 600,000 and 1.2 million foreigners living in China.
A lot of these are short term, a year or two to teach English, get some management experience, or education, but a large minority is in for the long haul of five or more years.
Thanks for reading
Cheers
Dan